The Clinker Cup

The Royal & Ancient Rules of Homma

  1. The game of "Homma" is the game within the Clinker Cup and consists of not becoming or being seen as a "Homma" (virtually impossible).
  2. Each group of Clinker Cup players shall have one official "Homma" (and probably at least two or three unofficial "Hommas").
  3. Being "the Homma" is not a status affording respect to the holder.
  1. Groups shall begin play with white golf balls until such time as one player takes three or more strokes, once their ball is on the green, to complete a hole. This player becomes "the Homma" and should expect to be vociferously greeted as such.
  2. The status of "the Homma" is signified within the group by the play of a pink golf ball, also known as "the Homma". Players are expected to understand via the context of any discussion as to which Homma is being referred to.
  3. "The Homma" shall play, subject to ridicule, until such time as "the Homma" is transferred to another player via the same three stroke method described in section 2.i. above.
  4. Any player who declines to take "the Homma" like a Homma, shall render them responsible for any fines incurred by the incumbent.
  5. Should any player fail to complete a hole, they shall become "the Homma" at the start of the next hole. No exceptions.
  1. If two or more players three putt on the same hole and one player is already "the Homma", that player shall remain "the Homma". The status of Homma is only transferred as a result of outright Hommnimity.
  2. If two or more players three putt on the same hole, and the status of "the Homma" is to be transferred, the player with the greater number or Stableford points, after the hole is complete, shall become "the Homma". If the players are equal on Stableford points, the player with the lower handicap shall become "the Homma."
  1. If "the Homma" happens to lose "a Homma" during the course of play, they shall be fined $10, to be paid in cash at the end of the round to the Clinker Cup Treasurer.
  2. If "the Homma" is lost due to theft, usually by a crow, "the Homma" shall pay a fine of $5, to be paid in cash at the end of the round to the Clinker Cup Treasurer.
  3. If "the Homma" is lost, "the Homma" shall use a white ball to complete the hole, and "load up" with a new "Homma" on the next hole.
  4. In each group, at round's end, the player with the status of "the Homma" shall pay a fine of $10 in cash to the Clinker Cup Treasurer.
  5. The "Big Show" rule. If "a Homma" is intentionally jettisoned, ejected or otherwise departs from the rightful owner, and is thus lost, "the Homma" shall pay a fine of $10, to be paid in cash at the end of the round to the Clinker Cup Treasurer.
  6. The "Will Ley Boys" rule. Any player with an official Clinker Cup Handicap of 29 or more shall only be subject to $5 fines for the loss of "the Homma". Theft of "the Homma" - usually by a crow - shall still incur a $5 fine.
  7. Guests are limited to $20 worth of lost "Homma". In addition, guests ending with "the Homma", will need to pay the obligatory end with "Homma" penalty. Should guests reach the $20 limit during a round they will continue to play with "the Homma" until that point at which it is passed to another "Homma". Guests are reminded that the Clinker kitty pays for "Hommas", and that the loss of "Hommas" in excess of the limit, renders them a massive "Homma."
    1. The "Co-Op Fishing" rule. If a Clinker invites a guest who refuses to pay for entry or any incurred fines, that Clinker becomes responsible for their guest's debts plus another $10 fine for bringing disrepute to an already disreputable institution.
    2. You'd better fucking believe it's retrospective, Homma.
  8. "Homma" funds shall be put into the Clinker Kitty and reinvested in club merchandise, equipment, and Board entertainment. Correspondence regarding the distribution of "Homma" funds shall not be entered into. Any correspondent attempting correspondence shall be referred to Section 6-2 of these rules.
  1. "Homma!" - called loudly when another player's ball lands on the green in three putt territory
  2. "Homma!" - called loudly when a player has taken their first putt and the next is not a gimme
  3. "Homma!" - for use when a player has three putted, thus becoming "the Homma"
  4. "GAWNE!" - for use when a player has lost or is about to lose "the Homma" (or have one stolen) - particularly gratifying while "the Homma" is in flight towards water or in the beak of a crow. To be used in conjunction with the "GAWNE Signal" (forearms crossed with palms over knees then swing arms outward to 45 degrees) - refer video on right
  1. No correspondence shall be entered into.
  2. You are a "Homma"!
  1. Subject to the loss or theft of all "Hommas" in a group's possession, an "Imaginary Homma" shall be played.
  2. The "Imaginary Homma" takes the physical form of a white golf ball, but possesses the soul of a real "Homma", thus being subject to all the heretofore noted definitions, rules and penalties.
  3. Following the theft of two or more "Hommas", usually by a crow, from the same playing group during the same round, an "Imaginary Homma" can be played.
  4. Any player playing with an "Imaginary Homma", is still a real "Homma".